Ahhh Madrid, an absolutely perfect city to start off a whirlwind European tour. A big, bright, bustling ciudad with just enough of a stereotypical European flair to kick this thing off right. Winding back alleys full of cafes and little old Spanish men with their canes and cardigan sweaters, endless sun-drenched plazas perfect for people watching or siestas, and monument upon fountain upon massive architecturally magnificent structure…perfectamente!
Upon entering another country there is always a learning curve. In order to thrive, much less survive, in these places, you need to listen, learn and adjust quickly. The following are lessons that have been essential to the success of this trip so far…
1. Passing through Customs in Madrid is a joke. A moment of nervousness always sets in when I find myself waiting in a line, hoping to gain permission to a country that is not my own. Will they reject me, detain me, or tell me to do an about-face and find my way back home? I suppose many of the fears still reside within me because the last countries I was trying to gain access to prior to this were Singapore, Thailand, and Indonesia. Let me tell you, those people do not mess around. Perhaps, it’s all the stories of teenagers getting caned and the one that really hits close to home, Claire Danes getting shipped off to a Thai prison for being accused of drug smuggling in the movie, BROKEDOWN PALACE. Poor Claire. At any rate, Madrid went off without a hitch. The Customs official practically did a little dance when I walked up….he didn’t. With a momentary glance of the passport, I was in. Not only was I in but they never even checked my bags. No lines to declare or not to declare, and why not? THAT is the question. I definitely could have packed all my guns, drugs, and knives and REALLY had a good time in this place. Ok ok, I don’t own knives.
2. Es gratis? One phrase that is muy importante here in Espana. Spaniards, while seemingly wonderful people, are forever trying to gouge you. Water and bread at dinner, outdoor dining, everything has a price. As a server, I understand the concept of an up-sell, but for Christ’s sake if you set bread in front of me and don’t ask me if I want it then I certainly don’t expect it to show up on my cuenta. (Isn’t this Spanglish thing going well so far?!) Though I feel like such a cheap-o, when dining, the three most important phrases to mention so far are… 1) Es gratis? (Is it free?) 2. Agua del grifo (tap water) and 3. Terraza (outdoor) vs. Salon (indoor), cuanto cuesta? (how much?)
3. What you think is a sidewalk is likely a road. I always knew Europeans drove small cars but really, some of these vehicles, if you can call them that, are beyond impressive. Every day there is an instance when I’m positive that I’m on a sidewalk or at least a pedestrian walkway and then some car the size of something that would be gifted to you at the bottom of your Fruity Pebbles comes flying around the corner in what feels like a full blown attempt to end your life. Stupid Americans! I can just hear it now. I would NEVER, make that NEVER EVER, be able to drive in this country. Not only are the roads impossibly narrow, but there are no uniform street signs to speak of. They are often posted on the side of buildings, if at all, but the really fun part is guessing where. This makes getting around these cities an interesting task. I can’t imagine driving at 40 miles per hour, winding through alleys, trying not to hit people, all the while attempting to spot these signs. A remarkable feat no doubt! Overall, what I’m saying here is watch where you are walking or you’re likely to come home flattened enough that you could take up residence in your overhead compartment.
4. Pickpockets also come in the shape of pretty 20-something girls who wear red lipstick. I suppose I had my stereotype of what a pickpocket might look like. She wasn’t it. Walking home from Retiro Park in Madrid on our last night I felt a girl walking a little too close to me. I swung my bag around to the front and saw she had managed to get part of the zipper open already. Caught her just in time. Back the F off Chica!
Lessons learned. Points noted. Certainly, more of these gems to come.
And NowEuropeToDate...
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